Meme: The Ex Files

I seem to get a lot of my memes from Hannibal. Don’t know what that says, so why philosophize about it? In any case, some of his answers were so dead on that I left his words as is (see *).

JUVENILE INSTRUCTIONS: Let’s see if you can get through it. If not, you’re too scared about your past.

Bring it, beyotch.*

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Probably. If it were under the same circumstances.

2. How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they loved you?
Two, if I recall correctly. One of them only said it when he was under the influence, but it seemed heartfelt all the same.

3. Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person?
Yes. But we won’t elaborate here.

4. Are you crushing on someone?
Not in the least.

5. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?

6. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend mad?
Have I ever not?*

7. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Depends on which relationship is being discussed.*

8. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn’t mean it?
No. And it’s made for some uncomfortable moments.

9. Have you ever had your heart broken?

10. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Broken? Maybe just slightly maimed.

11. Think any of your ex’s feel the same?
The same as what?*

12. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I have my moments.

13. Have you dated people who were not good to you?
Hell, yes.

14. Have you been in an abusive relationship?
No overtly so, no.

15. Have you dated someone older than you?

16. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

17. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I did at the moment. But the next day…

18. Do you want to get married?
That’s up for negotiation.*

19. Does heart break really feel as bad as its said to be?
Imagine having somebody take one of those toy claws, except it excretes hydrochloric acid. Then imagine somebody shoving it up your butt until they clasped the hooks around your heart, and then dragged it out. Slowly. Then they grab a skillet and sautee your heart right in front of you, and serve it to Hitler. It’s a little bit worse than that.*

20. Would you believe your ex if she/he said they love you?
My last actual ex? Yes. And that’s why it’s over.

21. Would you date your best male/female friend?
I take the fifth.

22. Have any of your ex’s called you by a nickname after the break up?
Yes. And that was awkward, to say the least.

23. Do you regret any of your relationships?
Funny enough, not really. Hell, even the worst ones are fun to joke about now.

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