This weekend I learned two very valuable lessons: 1. Paint samples are worth much more than the few dollars they cost. 2. It is always a good idea to bring the gay husband (the Will to my Grace) when choosing paint colors. If only I’d learned this wisdom before I spent several hours applying an alien-green paint to my bathroom. I thought I was just tired last night and that the greenish tinge my complexion had taken on was a figment of my imagination, having looked at far too many paint chips that day. But no, it was my bile-green bathroom reflecting onto my skin like nuclear afterglow. So now, after visiting my third Home Depot in as many days, I have a very satisfying shade of “celery bunch” covering the offensive “honeydew.” Only one more coat to go! I’ll be in bed by 2:30. No problem.
Now, if anyone knows how to get these stripped screws (yet another fabulous legacy of the idiot who previously lived here) out of my bathroom cabinets, I’ll buy you a six pack. Not only did he strip the screws, he painted over them — several times — so that I had to use three applications of stripper (the paint variety) just to get down to the metal, only to find they’d already been stripped (the far worse metal variety). (Yes, there’s been a lot of stripping in my life this weekend. Unfortunately, it was of the noxious fumes kind.) Anyone want a six pack of the beer of your choice?